You've Got My Vote, Bill!
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012..
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1). Any use of the phrase:
'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned.
English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. The USA and Canada will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart policy; 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required
to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States and the border of Canada
(six month tour).
They will be under strict orders not to fire on south bound aliens.
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin' nuttin' out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6). Welfare.-- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.
(8). Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10). All foreign aid, using American or Canadian taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in the US Congress.
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... nevertheless....
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND CANADA!
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1). Any use of the phrase:
'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned.
English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. The USA and Canada will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart policy; 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required
to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States and the border of Canada
(six month tour).
They will be under strict orders not to fire on south bound aliens.
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin' nuttin' out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6). Welfare.-- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.
(8). Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10). All foreign aid, using American or Canadian taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in the US Congress.
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... nevertheless....
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND CANADA!
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
