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All Kinds Of Funny

What Women Really Mean When They Say...
 
(1)Fine:


This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
 
 
(2)Five Minutes:


 If she is getting dressed, this means one-half hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
 
 
(3)Nothing:


This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
 
 
(4)Go Ahead:


This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


(5)Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often  misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

   (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)


(6)That's Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


(7)Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.. Just say
you're welcome.


   (This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - which is PUREsarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  DO NOT say
'you're welcome' -- that will bring on a 'whatever'.)



(8)Whatever:
 
Is a woman's way of saying Screw YOU!



(9)Don't worry about it, I've got it:

Another dangerous statement , meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, refer to # 3.

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